**Warning** --Slightly emo post ahead. :)
I don’t know if it’s a girl thing, a stress thing, or a human thing—or maybe it’s a combination of all—but every now and then, I get a little sad for no apparent reason. Does this happen to anyone else? Your life can be going really great with nothing to complain about, and then all of a sudden—BAM. There is just nothing that can make you happy. You focus on the negative aspects of your life, and start to question everything God has placed before you. Sometimes when this happens, I discover that it’s because things aren’t necessarily going as I planned, and I become confused and exasperated. In my prayers, I find myself asking God impatient questions rather than focusing on thankfulness. And sometimes, I get downright depressed. I will mope around the house for a few days in my own little world of self pity, not knowing when exactly I became so incredibly unhappy with life. The fact of the matter is, my life is pretty darn good. I am healthy, have a great job, nice home, amazing friends, exciting ministry opportunities on the horizon, and the best husband and little boy I could ever ask for. So seriously…why does this happen?
I am no counselor, psychiatrist or doctor. But I do think this happens to many of us, more often than we like to admit. We live in a fallen world where the media is constantly throwing us news of death, destruction and chaos, and it’s hard to not get sucked into a pit of hopelessness over the future of our families and society in general. We don’t have to watch the news for it to happen, though. For many of us, our own difficult circumstances are enough to make life seem unbearable, whether it is financial struggles, a difficult job, a broken family, health issues or something else that weighs heavy on our hearts. This year, I have decided to attack this head on. Because no matter what obstacles the world throws at me, I have a God who is ever for me. And dude—He is not just for me. With a simple cry out to Him, He parts the heavens and swoops to my rescue, dark clouds under His feet! He mounts the cherubim and flies, soars on the wings of the wind at the sound of my call. Out of the brightness of His presence, clouds advance with hailstones and bolts of lightning. His voice thunders as He shoots his arrows and scatters my enemies; the valleys of the sea are exposed and the foundations of the earth laid bare at His rebuke, at the blast of breath from His nostrils! (Psalm 18:9-15)
Um, yeah. God is way more than just for me.
I know all that sounds pretty crazy. But I believe David was trying to get it through to us exactly how much God longs to fight for us—for our hearts, minds, emotions, everything. I have a good friend that I meet with on a weekly basis, and we talk about everything. If one of us is having a bad week, day or even moment, we call or text the other right away, before we even have a chance to sink down into the pit of self pity. One dreary day, she reminded me of this fiery passion that God has for me, for all of His children, if we would only let Him into our lives. Alright then...so what do I do to get out of the funk? Prayer doesn’t always bring me immediate peace and understanding the moment I say "Amen." In fact, in moments of grief, frustration, or anger about a situation, it rarely does. She had a great idea for me: Write down the most significant things Jesus has taught me and where I currently see Him working in my life. I groaned, thinking writing a bunch of junk isn’t going to help, but I begrudgingly got out my pen and journal. What happened on the next three pages of my journal did not come from me. Here’s the condensed version:
Most Significant Things Jesus has Taught Me:
1. I am sinful. I need Christ to redeem me every day, need to make Him the focus of my life, or my life will always be about me.
2. He longs for my faith to grow. He longs for me to reach out to Him more and step out with boldness for His glory.
3. Jesus’ love has NO LIMITS. On days when my heart feels absolutely void of Him, His heart is never void of me. He will always be reaching for me with an outstretched hand, waiting for me to grasp it.
Number One Areas Where I See Him Working:
1. He is breaking me of strongholds. Discontentment with areas of my life, insecurities, fear. He is targeting these bondages, opening my eyes and allowing me to see them for what they are: weights of unnecessary stress that I can be free of through Him and only Him. He longs for me to be free!
2. He is increasing my boldness through brokenness.There is no witness like complete transparency with my sin and struggles, and He is equipping me with the confidence I need to be real with others.
3. He is teaching me to love people unconditionally. It is one of the biggest steps toward becoming like Him. Love them. No matter how uncomfortable the situation—care, ask, spend time. God will mold me into a whole different person, a woman of God who is compassionate and approachable. This is how I long to be!
I was, and am still, pretty amazed after reading this. There are very few times I can think of where I have written something and felt like God completely took over with His own thoughts, and this was one of them. He needed to tell me a few things, and I certainly heard Him. Loud and clear.
Are you or have you been in an emotional funk lately? Whatever you think the reasons might be, you are not alone. You may be just having a bad day, or you may be physically exhausted. You may be dealing with the baby blues, or you may actually be struggling with serious depression. In the latter case, sometimes a doctor’s opinion is definitely needed. But let me encourage you today. God is ready to fight for you! His strength is made perfect in our weakness, and He will never weaken. He never lets go, and when we have nothing left, He longs to carry us. Remember that there is a mighty plan at work, a mission greater than ourselves that we must strive to see. God’s will is to transform us through our trials, not see us become defeated by them. Will we fall down into a pit of self pity? Or climb out into His brilliant light, experiencing peace and freedom as He works within us?
Hope does not disappoint me, because You, God, have poured out Your love into my heart by the Holy Spirit, whom You have given me. -Romans 5:5
